


@ yourself in the bathroom mirror

by Dizzy1967



Category: The Goldfinch (2019), The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
Genre: Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, No Beta, Short, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24547204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dizzy1967/pseuds/Dizzy1967
Summary: Theo comes out to boris.
Relationships: Theodore Decker & Boris Pavlikovsky, Theodore Decker/Boris Pavlikovsky
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85





	@ yourself in the bathroom mirror

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a oneshot I found in my notes app but its been there for who knows how long.

Theo stares at himself in the mirror.  
Eyebrows drawn together and cheeks stained pink.  
He grips the sink, leaning forward and taking a deep breath, forcing the words out of his mouth once more.  
"Boris." He says, gripping the sink tighter. "I'm gay."  
His insides knotted up even tighter, The anxiety and anticipation of his next actions building,  
Taking a deep breath and stepped away, turning to the door.

He could do this, tell boris.  
Boris wouldn't hate him for it.. right?  
He'd never been harsh to Hobie..  
And he knew Hobie was gay.

Theo steadied himself on wobbly legs and forced himself out the door and back into the living room where Boris was sitting, watching TV.

"There you are! Almost missed best part of movie!"  
Boris says, waving him back to the couch.

Theo goes to sit beside him, face warming as he closes the space, He feels stiff and uncomfortable.

Boris must feel it too because he looks Theo over, raising an eyebrow.  
"What is wrong?"

Theo shakes his head and then forces his hands to flatten against his pantlegs.  
"I've got something I want to tell you.."

Instantly a suffocating wave of regret crashes over him, his hands trembling as he kept his eyes fixed firmly on the tv.  
Why had he thought this was a good idea?

Boris turns to him and nods.  
"What is it?"

Theos heart thuds against his ribs.  
"Its-.."  
The words are stuck in his throat and he hates this, why did he do this?  
He could've just come back out here and sat down, enjoyed Boris' company.  
He didn't need this.  
Boris didn't need to know this, what would it change?  
Nothing.

Boris nudges him and raises an eyebrow.  
"I am listening."  
Gentle, encouraging theo to speak.

Theo glances at him, chest tight and skin buring.  
"Nevermind.."  
Trying to backtrack, repair the night before he ruins everything.

Boris frowns and inches closer, smooshing himself against Theo's side, his elbow digging painfully into theo's ribs.  
"What? Why 'nevermind'? I want to know!"

Theo shrinks away, trying to pull himself away from Boris, it feels wrong to have him this close, it'll make it even more obvious when he pulls away, Impossible for Theo to ignore.  
The words spill past his lips without permission.  
"I'm gay."

Theo's eyes widen at his own words and he forced himself up and off the couch.  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I can go."

Boris pauses. His eyes widening as Theo's words set in.  
"What? Why would you leave?"

Theo's heart is hammering painfully in his chest.  
"Its- shouldn't I?"  
He feels like he might throw up.

Boris gets up, grabbing Theo's hands and pulling him gently back towards the couch.  
"No. Stay."  
He sits Theo down and takes a place beside him, keeping his hands around Theo's own trembling ones.  
"Is big deal that you tell me this.. how do you feel?"

Theo looks at him for a moment before turning his gaze back to their linked hands.  
"Are you a therapist now?"  
He tries to joke.

Boris rolls his eyes, smiling.  
"Potter, I am just trying to talk.. I know this is scary."  
His voice is soft.

Theo looks at him.  
"Yeah..its- what now?"  
Theo's genuinely lost, he wants to know what Boris thinks of him, are things going to be different?  
Will he still be allowed to stay the night?

Boris shrugs, his thumb rubbing gently over Theo's knuckles, Theo's eyes following the movement.  
"Now? We can talk and watch movies. Now, you do not have big scary secret you are trying to keep, you can joke and say 'hey, that guy has a good ass!' and we can laugh together."

Theo looks away his eyes welling up.  
"Yeah?"  
He's never been good with words but now 'yeah' is all he has.  
He hadn't known what to expect, like many things with boris this could have ended with an agressive hug or an actual punch to the face.

Boris smiles and wraps Theo in a hug.  
"Of course! I tell you something, I can make comments on a guys ass too, you know who?"  
His eyes are bright, playful and it eases Theo's nerves.

"Who?"  
He asks smiling, tension melting from his shoulders.

Boris' hands move to Theo's hips and he moves to lean over him.  
"You! Potter, these pants do you many favors!"  
He squeezed to punctuate each word.

Theo feels his entire face heat and he swats at Boris hands, shoving him away laughter from God knows where spilling from his mouth.  
"Oh my God, Boris! H-how can you say that!" 

Boris laughs raising his hands.  
"Is a compliment! You have nice ass!"

This comment sends both of them off, laughing loud enough to drown the tv out and leave them breathless.

When Theo finally catches his breath, Boris is smiling at him.  
And he feels so grateful that Boris didnt force him to leave, or to explain himself.

"Thank you.."  
Theo said softly.

Boris smiled.  
"Thank you for telling me. Glad you trust me, Potter."

Theo can feel his face warming again and he smiles when Boris moves closer, slipping an arm around him saying,

"We are going to have to restart this movie."

**Author's Note:**

> May or may not edit depends on my ability to actually focus on one thing for longer than 5 minutes.


End file.
